I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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