is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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