if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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