There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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