He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
