Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
