The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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