"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
