no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
