Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
