4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
