no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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