So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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