How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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