I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
