I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
