Got a toothbrush?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
