Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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