He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
