I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
