i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
