I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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