She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
