my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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