someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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