I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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