I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
