I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
