a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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