1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
