You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
