So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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