So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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