The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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