Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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