Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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