So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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