umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
