Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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