Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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