did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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