Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
