I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
