i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
