So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
