Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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