I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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