I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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