So drunk its hurt
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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