there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
