with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
