The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
