If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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