just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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