His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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