Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
