So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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