you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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