Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
