have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
