Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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