I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
