I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping